DESPISE THE DISPUTE

At some point in our life, we have all been in a dispute.
A dispute with a loved one, shouldn’t be trivial pursuit.
When we disagree on anything, it’s never about the win.
It isn’t even, about making, the other person your twin.

We all have an ego inside, which hates being bruised.
We feel like something is wrong with us, when accused.
This fight, dispute, or ongoing battle, makes us all lose.
Failing to keep, maintain, or possess, what we choose.

Often assuming, what the other didn’t intend that way.
The trusting relationship, will soon then, diminish away.
Trust has been broken, and we are suddenly on guard.
Watching carefully, what the other chose to disregard.

Viewing each dispute as a boxing match, with low blows.
The impact of each punch, are what we will never disclose.
With jabs and low hits, we try going for the knockout blow.
Making the other person afraid, like bird to a scarecrow.

What we view as a target hit, the other views as being hurt.
This causes their emotional brain, to go onto very high alert.
Spiraling downward, matching punch for punch, with regret.
We’ll then do or say things, that the other will never forget.

No matter the outcome, the dispute is a loss for everyone.
The brick that will hit you in the head later, will feel a ton.
Tabling it, win or lose, compromise, or the fight continued.
Each one of these outcomes is a loss, that must be rescued.

In all of those outcomes, not everyone got what they wanted.
In every situation, it’s a loss of downs, or fourth down punted.
A win for you, a loss for me, and a compromise, just the same.
The conversation later, is about what you lose and didn’t gain.

Not abandoning the dispute, unheard or often misunderstood.
Hurt by the other, not doing the right thing, that they should.
Maybe we took things too personally, and them never enough.
Our bruised ego, lies hidden, under our tough exterior, rough.

Disputes are really opportunities to understand and connect.
It isn’t about the truths and lies, that you try to then protect.
Connection happens when we are different, never the same.
Listening and understanding, never having the better claim.

Listening without judgement, then we can finally understand.
Your truth is your truth, mine is mine, without any command.
Eventually, we finally can share the reasons for our own beliefs.
It is only then, that we can become Robin Hood, never thieves.

Written by: Craig Dunkleberger
Photo by: Twitter